So right now, at the start of this journey, despite the overwhelming desire to attempt this challenge, I am still conflicted. Why do I want to do this? What is the real reason?

Do I want to do this because I am genuinely passionate about adventure and challenge and want to inspire it in others? Do I want to do this to raise money for a worthy cause? Or do I want to do this because I want to change and develop my identity by doing something with a ‘wow’ factor. Is it my ego or my sense of doing something meaningful that is the driving force? A dichotomy of being selfish vs authentic.

I’m scared of being seen as virtue signalling or of not being authentic in my approach to this. I know how many cynics out there consider some fundraising activity to be just the adventures of the middle class, made worthy by joining up with a charity. I don’t want this to be the perception people have of this event; but I also have to be honest with myself about my reasons. By questioning this, and discussing with friends, I have realised that it is all of the reasons I mention above, and they are equal to each other. I do really want to do something meaningful at a time in my life where I am rich in time and freedom to do so (i.e. no kids, no mortgage, and potentially no job…). It would be so easy for me to pick some of these challenges and do them in my own time, at my own pace and without any need for sponsors, or any effort fundraising. But that wouldn’t feel worth it; what would I be giving back, or achieving?